lil collection of poems
the fog has lifted
and i can see clearly once again
the sun is shining in my heart and the warmth now embraces me
I’ve come to a time where I am realizing that the one I loved was no good for me after all
to know all the years and time spent was for naught—it hurts
my god, does it hurt
i’m grateful that i’ve grown, learned my boundaries, and feel like a stronger woman today
i wish we could’ve grown together but that time is gone now
have you ever poured into someone else’s cup when there wasn’t even enough for a sip in your own cup?
you can’t pour from an empty cup i’ve been told. though yours was overflowing with love.
I poured until there was no more to pour.
yours, meanwhile was spilling over, yet you wouldn’t pour any into mine. you couldn’t. you have no idea how to.
one day you will learn how to share and it’ll be beautiful. i hope that day comes for you soon.
it was never easy. i thought that’s what they meant when they said love wasn’t easy.
love should be easy. love is easy. love is laughter. love is not afraid of being vulnerable. love is apologizing. love is attentive. love is kind. love is warm.
in loving you, i forgot how to love myself. but i’ve always loved myself. do you?
all i’m left with now are thoughts of I should’ve stood my ground earlier.
i deserve more. better. i am deserving of love. and respect.
how dare you make me feel small
i am a strong woman and you tried to take that power away from me
but i will never. never. let anyone take it away from me again.
i thought it was me.
i felt like i was hard to love. i felt unloveable.
you said it was easy to love me but you made it feel like loving me was a burden
eileen.
the way it would roll off your tongue and my name was suddenly a weapon for you to use against me.
eileen. so loaded, so full of resentment and regret.
now i hate my name
you’ve ruined that for me too.
strangers
everything comes full circle
strangers. friends. lovers. friends. strangers once again.
funny how you built up in your mind this “perfect” me
so busy creating a version of me in your head that you never saw the person i was evolving into.
you have no idea who i am, just ideas of who you wish i was.
that version of me in your head does not even live up to who i have become.
i am constantly changing and you’re still stuck on version 19.0
no one should have to beg for respect
no one should have to beg to be loved in the way they feel it
in loving you, i lost myself
i am finding her again
maybe it was a period of growth.
i felt so alone but i think I understand now.
i was changing into something more beautiful.
because i feel butterflies
constantly fluttering
there’s a lightness to it, an easiness.
there’s something special about someone who can make you feel safe without even knowing
there’s nothing difficult about it
something special about not having to beg to be treated with respect
because honestly every human deserves respect